Reflections on Beauty in Our Forties

So thrilled to have Andrea Pitts sharing wisdom on Lightly Frayed today – she’s reflecting on beauty in our forties.

And if you’re not there yet, you will be in a blink.

Andrea and I have known each other since our Moms were in their forties…maybe even longer. Don’t miss her take on how our beauty changes {ahem} over time. Although, I say she still looks twenty.

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Girls in your 20’s and 30’s, please take a moment and do me a favour. Go to a mirror and look at the skin on your neck. You heard me – your neck.

Look at how smooth and tight it is. Admire how it snaps back like an elastic if you pinch it.

Now take a moment to thank the dear Lord above for this young, fresh neck skin. It’s probably something you’ve never given a thought about before, right?

Usually our mirror reflections are spent briefly looking over our “okay” bits and then staring miserably at our self-determined “bad” bits. But please, as a woman in my 40’s, I urge you to add that gloriously firm tight neck skin to your personal list of lovely bits.

Why, you ask?

Image credit: Shoubert David Media

beauty in our forties

In your 40’s that precious neck skin starts to visibly display the effects of gravity. It’s so sad. It begins to bag and droop, inching towards your collarbone.  You heard that correctly. COLLARBONE.

It makes you hold your camera up high for selfies (not that you take selfies anymore…)

It might even make you put your family photographer in a tree, hanging over your head from a branch, to get a good shot (true story).

You’ll begin to wash, dry and store pot lids quickly because accidentally seeing your reflection from that angle is terrifying. Not that I know from experience. It happened to a friend.

You’ll find yourself adoring mandarin collars and Victorian chokers.

Blanket scarves will become a wardrobe staple, wrapped so high that only your eyebrows are visible.

You’ll start to French braid your hair towards the front of your face and down your neck.

You’ll admire flight attendants and their crisp scarves tied jauntily to the side and you might even YouTube how to tie that thing.

You’ll add false eyelashes to bring the attention up, up and away. But not as high as your grey roots for heaven’s sake!

wisdom whispers gently

But then, as the wisdom of age slowly returns, you’ll remember that getting older is actually a privilege not given to all. Some countries have an average life span lower than your current age. Female friends and family have passed away much younger than you. You’ll think of the many women and mothers you knew or never knew, who didn’t get to complain about neck skin. The ones who didn’t make it to this stage.

Deep breath out.

And a wise, new perspective settles in. Beauty in our forties can be redefined. Embracing imperfection is not easy, but aging is an honour. Visible signs of our age are proof that we have lived long, experienced much and are still here for more. These are the truths we need to remember when we look in the mirror.

And so it all comes around full circle to realizing that sagging neck skin isn’t important at all.

{But feel free to keep the false eyelashes – just for fun!}

Written by: Andrea Pitts

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Like this post? Be sure to check out more musings about unchangeable features here:

When she is not trying to creatively cover up her neck, Andrea Pitts is a knitter of beauty for her own company, Funky Fashionista. She specializes in cozy, funky knitwear  you will definitely want to check out.