Our first son entered the world weighing 10 pounds. Nothing delicate about that much boyhood. Newborn onesies looked like Spanx. And his hospital hat was a ridiculous beanie that could barely rest atop his bean.
But we liked the chubba so much, we went on to have three more. Yep. Boys. #testosterhome
Everyone’s response to all the gender reveals was pretty much this:
So welcome, Boy Mom. Having parented four boys through every stage recently, I’ve got you.
Whether you are nursing your blue bundle or distracting yourself until your teen brings the car back, put your feet up and feel understood.
This is for all the Boy Moms who experience frogs, snails, snuggles and smells. Sometimes at the same time.
We’re part of an incredible club. See if these sound familiar then stick around for a few resources every Bom Mom should have.
Dear Mama. You Know You are Bringing Up Boys When….
- You announce the gender of your belly and see a flicker of nervousness and sympathy in the eyes of friends.
- Your child squirts chocolate syrup in and around the toilet during your 32-second shower.
- You realize too late that a toddler nostril is the perfect opening for a tic tac.
- Your children only wear underwear in the house most days. And when they do wear clothes, they often forget their underwear.
- You spend Sunday mornings at church with darting eyes to keep an accurate head count. You rarely sustain eye contact or finish sentences.
- The thought of raising a young man is the most humbling, awe-inspiring project you ever undertook.
- You use creative tactics for teaching reading. Like sounding out words together while doing somersaults.
- Read alouds work best when mouths are being fed and wiggly bums are firmly planted on kitchen chairs.
- You say things like, “Please don’t sit on your brother’s head” more often than you’d care to admit.
- You can’t own anything nice and that’s not as sad as you thought it would be.
- Couches are disposable. And when they have served your family well they will beg to be sent to a better place. Like a house with girls.
- You learn wrestling is a loving, semi-violent version of hugging for brothers. You stop being alarmed, and may even tear up when they pound each other with affection.
- After years of hearing bathroom jokes, you start to think they’re funny. And may even throw one of your own into the mix.
- Your kids are pretty proud when you burp loudly.
- You devour resources on raising boys like Mother and Son: The Respect Effect.
- Your children can pee in a coffee cup while you keep driving. And you’re a bit envious.
- You watch other families with boys a few years older than yours, and have all the feels thinking of your next chapter with man cubs.
- Your heart aches with every growth spurt, voice deepening and “Night, Mom” realizing it is all going by far too quickly.
- You are never more proud than when you say the words, “This is my son…”
- There is a knowing look of solidarity between you and other Boy Moms. #wegetit
Truly, the only thing cooler than being a Boy Mom is getting to know other ones. It’s like a secret club with the password: SEND ESTROGEN.
I’d love to introduce you to other boy moms who will fill your cup.
We are all writers with hearts that beat for Moms in general, and specifically Boy Moms today. We are waving from the next lane, as we navigate our bumps and turns together and enjoy sun-drenched skies during the easy stretches.
Build your library for raising boys
I believe every parent can benefit from professionally developing. Whether you want to borrow resources from a library, or buy your own copy, these titles are a great place to start.
Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most From You Monica Swanson recently released this book based on what she has learned by raising four young men of character.
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men Meg Meeker’s parenting advice is deeply respected by many. I love the section on avoiding the natural traps moms and sons fall into.
Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working: Say Something New Amber Lia and Wendy Speake help Moms think about having a new script when we face roadblocks.
Love their interview on Focus on the Family discussing these techniques:
Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys Stephen James and David Thomas help us peek inside the boy mind.
Raising Boys? Be His Home Base: Want to raise boys who will call home to just hear your voice?The MOB society reminds us to focus on connection.
Parenting Teens and Tweens compiled The Best Quotes for Mothers of Teenage Sons. I’m not crying. You’re crying.
WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT PARENTING BOYS? THE GOOD, THE BAD….
Drop me an answer to this question and I’ll respond. Once I’m finished shopping for a new couch.
What has surprised me most about raising boys (so far) is the gentle nature of my boys. They aren’t aggressive boys (yet?). They don’t wrestle or fight with each other or their friends, and they are more likely to find games that don’t involve any body-contact. Although, I haven’t exposed them to playing hockey or football yet! They do occasionally give each other “doggy rides” on the floor (the younger brother is heavier than his older brother so piggy back rides are out for the time being), but that’s the extent of their “aggressiveness”.
I am also surprised that I don’t miss the lack of anything pink or sparkly or overtly feminine in the house by not having any girls present other than me. I love our Star Wars shower curtain, the simplicity of boy’s clothing, and the overall easy-going nature of my boys and their surroundings. I am also grateful I don’t have to deal with any girl hair-dos (pony-tails, pig-tails, braids, etc). I was terrible at them as a child and can’t manage any of them well on my own hair!
Jennie: As Boy Moms we often joke about the stereotypes, but you’re absolutely right that they are often not true. Boys can be the most kind, empathetic, encouragirng members in their classes and families. They are a fabulous invention and what a privilege to be their Mamas. I too am in love with our vintage car bathroom and I went 15 years into parenting boys before they asked me to buy hair elastics. Thankfully they can do their own Man Buns, because I’m all thumbs, but it cracks me up when they run around the house saying, “Has anyone seen my hair tie?”
Your boys are blessed to have you.
I was surprised how awesome and gentle my boys are for their baby sister. I have a 10 and 4 year old boys and 2yo princess. It’s so hard to switch to girly stuff after 10 years of transformers, Marvel figures and nerf guns. Luckily my girl love their toys as much as little ponys.
Great post, Karen! You did it again 🙂
Nothing warms my heart more than watching boys be gentle and loving with babies. You’ve done a great job training them Alicja!