Inside: Tested ideas for you to motivate your teenager to dream big. Help them discover their passions and chase them relentlessly. It is possible.
Teenagers often carry a surprising amount of stress about their future. I overhear my own boys and some of my students say:
- I have no idea what I want to do with my life
- I’m worried I won’t find a job that will make enough money for my family
- HELP! I can’t find the headset for Fortnite
Clearly some deal with stress differently than others.
We want our teenagers to have goals. To find a job that will make them excited to wake up every day. To find something that puts a twinkle in their eye.
But this does not always come easily.
Some teenagers choose their career path early on. They map out next steps, including building a portfolio, volunteering and gathering references. While still in elementary school.
For many others, decisions about the future are much less clear. A “Gap Year” is becoming increasingly popular – where students take a year off after high school graduation to decide on their next steps. What do parents not want it to become? “Refine Your Gaming Skills Year.”
We have candid conversations in our home about the challenges of not having clear direction before college application time. And whether you should attend post-secondary education or wait until you are certain of your next steps.
So, how do you motivate your teenager to dream big?
Let me begin by reinforcing what doesn’t work:
- Approaching conversations about the future with clenched knuckles and a stressy voice.
- Comparing your teen to someone else who has applied to fourteen colleges just to keep his options open
- Burying your head in the sand and hoping it will all work out
As a Mom of three teenagers, I quickly realized the importance of helping our kids hone in on their unique skills. By grade nine, our oldest boys each launched their own small businesses doing what they love.
Clients’ rave reviews boosted their confidence and showed them it is possible to dream big in whatever field they choose long-term.
These successes inspired me to help other teens who need direction to find their purpose. These ten practical suggestions will help you get started. Don’t feel overwhelmed by the amount of information. I have put together a comprehensive checklist you can download and work through together.
1. Nudge them out the door
It’s hard to dream big if you spend most of your time in a predictable routine within four walls.
If your teenager has not yet held a job, this is a great place to start. Not motivated? You may need to limit handouts of cash, to teach them the value of employment.
My son’s friend explained, “My parents are willing to pay Walmart prices for any clothes I want. If I want anything nicer, I have to pay the difference.” [cue balloons and streamers for wise parents] And in order to pay the difference, that teen got a job.
“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” John Maxwell
First jobs are powerful teachers for teenagers struggling to find direction.
Related: Why Every Teenager Needs a Job
2. Build on their talents
Are your teenagers hands-on learners? They may not gravitate toward book knowledge or a traditional path of education.
Help them take practical ideas that use their unique giftings to the next level.
“One way of knowing our gifting…is when something that seems easy to us doesn’t seem easy to others.” The Art of Work, Jeff Goins
Online tools such as the Myers-Briggs Assessment can help students discover their specific strengths and spark an idea for their future.
Our eldest launched his small business at age 14. He solves a pain point for young Moms in particular. They ask, “How will I ever have a clean vehicle without goldfish crackers smushed into the van carpet?” He swoops in with mobile cleaning tools as their decrumbing hero.
He may even launch a national franchise of Car Cleaning Teens one day. But in order to dream big, he had to first roll up his sleeves and begin scrubbing.
Related: 5 Steps to Launch Your Teenage Entrepreneur
3. Send your kid to work with someone else
“Take Your Kid to Work” day is brilliant – if your child is interested in your particular career path.
When our boys asked to shadow me in my home office I knew they just wanted a pyjama day.
But if she wants to pursue other fields, be creative and broaden your search. Consider who else might allow your teen to shadow them. A few minutes of brainstorming gave our teens options of a resource teacher, bank president’s assistant, lawyer, electrician, musician or chef.
One of our teens shadowed my sister in her Kindergarten class. He convinced the children his name was Mr. Orange and connected well using his quirky humour. It meant a lot to him that they asked for him weeks later, but he realized teaching little ones is not his first choice.
Ruling out careers is a valuable step in finding the right one.
4. Do field research together
Ask your teen to learn about several unique jobs. Offer a prize for the family member who reports back about the most creative option.
When you are out driving, discuss who would work behind the scenes to make our cities function.
- Who is responsible for traffic lights?
- Who determines where playgrounds will be built?
- Which professionals design buildings and who oversees construction?
- What would you study to create advertisements on billboards?
It’s like a grown up version of Sesame Street’s Who Are the People In Your Neighbourhood?” but I don’t recommend singing it in front of your teens. Ever.
Challenge your teenagers to think creatively. One social worker in our area established Get Out Adventure Therapy and he counsels clients while they hike and climb rocks together.
His big dream brilliantly merged his calling and interests, and our teens need to know they can do the same.
5. Find events that inspire big dreams
Search online and in local Facebook groups for unique opportunities to inspire your teenager. Check out:
- local college events (open houses displaying projects, drama/musical performances)
- libraries (author talks, illustrator visits)
- business networking opportunities (local breakfast meetings, workshops)
I took my son and his friend to a competition at a local college, called Unlock Your Big Idea. Nine teams competed for three $10,000 prizes. Like Dragon’s Den critics, the boys evaluated each pitch, business plan and viability of the products. Kevin O’Leary would have been proud of their insight.
While there, we learned they have an entire department for entrepreneurs and you can access their services for free, even if you do not attend the college.
Some lessons can’t be learned from textbooks.
6. Connect your teen with a mentor
Know older college students or young adults your teenager looks up to? Would they be willing to discuss the steps they took to follow their dreams? They will still remember the weight of making big decisions about career paths and be able to offer current advice.
Perhaps they can offer a personalized campus tour to your son or daughter. Instead of touring with Mom? #nocontest
Many professionals are willing to set aside time to invest in youth – sometimes we simply need to ask. Our friend Grant, an employment recruiter, took our son out for coffee to help him navigate his next steps. He offered perspective on which business programs offer the most value for employers.
Mentoring can be a powerful tool to help young people find next steps towards big dreams.
7. Send them to another country
No, not permanently (even if it’s tempting on a rough day).
Many parents suggest every high school student should visit an impoverished country before graduation.
“Find what you love, and what the world needs and then combine them.” The Art of Work, Jeff Goins
My friend Cassandra has found what she loves. She launched GameOnCamps.com and runs sport camps in the Ukraine and India for underprivileged youth. She dreams of scholarships and Olympic medals for these amazing children. The best part? She takes one of her four children with her on every trip.
Research opportunities that suit your teen’s giftings and your budget. Some schools offer global trips for high school students, or you may consider a reputable missions organization.
Note to self: Get passports for our whole family so we are ready when opportunities arise.
8. Research teenagers who inspire
Have a Dream Big day. Ask your kids to each find a cool story of someone who was young and learned to dream big. Share the stories as a family.
Instead of watching a movie, why not watch a few TED Talks or read compelling articles over dinner?
My personal favourite is this story about Campbell Remess who committed to sewing one teddy bear every day to donate to sick children. At twelve years old, he has already made 800 bears.
Use these links as a springboard for discussion:
Talks by Brilliant Kids and Teens.
3 Brilliant Inventions from a 12-year-old Scientist
Natalie Barne, age 18, works at Invisible Children
Adora Svitak, a prolific short story writer since age 7
Google Thinks These 18 Teenagers Will Change the World
9. Follow your own big dreams as parents
When my children were little, my biggest dream was trying to squeeze in a 15-minute nap. But now there are more opportunities to pursue my passion to write and encourage parents, even when it means “Doing it Scared.”
“No matter what we say, our children usually imitate what they see us do. If you’re a dreamer, your teen is likely to be a dreamer.” Focus on the Family
My boys watch their old{ish} Mom learn how to use WordPress, code in HTML, edit images and explore new opportunities. My fan club of man cubs cheers me on with each accomplishment and I hope this will help them become dream chasers too.
10. Hand them a book they can’t resist
Encourage your teenager to read books that discuss living with purpose.
John Maxwell’s parents paid their children to read books they had carefully selected. And these books became family discussion points. By 20, he had read every leadership book that existed. His faith-based writing inspires teens to see beyond themselves and he offers his own wisdom in these proven resources. He recommends parents reward their teenagers for reading lifechanging books such as:
- The Difference Maker: the importance of our attitude
- Talent is Never Enough: choices determine success
- Make Today Matter: daily decisions impact our lives
Of course audio books and podcasts will equally inspire.
Important next steps to help your teenager
Download this checklist that summarizes your practical next steps. It summarizes key points of this article and offers great discussion starters for you and your teenager.
One final encouragement from John Maxwell for your teen from The Power of Significance: How Purpose Changes Your Life:
“Get started on your unique personal path to significance. Learn how to find your why, start small but believe big, and live every day as if it matters-because it does!”
And while our son is still pondering a Gap Year, these ideas are helping him form a vision of what he wants to accomplish during that pause. And we have laid the foundation to discuss next steps, find meaningful purpose and dream big.
May we all be intentional about preparing our teenagers to dream big – one adventure at a time.
Pin to inspire another parent to be a dream encourager:
I really like the idea of going on adventures. If I can have my kids learning while having fun it’s a huge win! Great list and resource for my future teens. As a homeschooling Mom it’s great to follow other Moms who are ahead of me in the game. Thanks!
Hey Amanda. I follow other Moms who are ahead in the game too. Currently modelling Moms with older teens and young adults. I really miss the homeschooling adventures of years gone by. Author visits, meeting illustrators…so many cool opportunities for elementary kids. This stage of having teens is nudging me to find next-level adventures! Happy to have you here.
Thank you for sharing so many practical, wise ideas! We have seen the power of modeling (life-long learning, following passions) and the significant impact of mentors in our own girls. I love the idea of finding inspiring events for your teens to attend. Any more tips on that idea? Thanks!
Thanks, Ashley. A few more ideas for tracking down ideas for events for teens to attend: 1. Local colleges/universities: they often have workshops related to fields in their programs. 2. Local high schools: Call them to ask if they have job fairs, workshops or seminars for youth and/or parents. 3. Local libraries: They offer free workshops to support youth in being entrepreneurs etc. 4. Internet searches: great way to find out about events in your city or surrounding cities. I am on a few mailing lists for nearby colleges, and that has led to quite a few opportunities. Hope this helps!
Another great post Karen! Thanks for the book recommendations by John Maxwell. I have not heard of those. Can’t wait to check them out!
So good to hear from you, Miranda. I’m really enjoying John Maxwell’s audio CDs as I drive my boys to and from their 4 DIFFERENT SCHOOLS!
It makes me feel like I am growing brain cells that I have lost from many pregnancies. Interesting fact: John Maxwell’s parents used to pay him to read books as his allowance.
He had read every leadership book available by the time he was 20 (and has now written 40+ himself). #smartparents
My oldest took a gap year and has become an evangelist for the benefits of working between high school and college!
I’ve heard this from a lot of parents, Shannon. That’s great confirmation. Our oldest is officially beginning his gap year tomorrow. I can see how some teens need this time to earn money and figure out their next steps.